The one about the boots.

3 seventy pound suitcases.

That's it.  That's all I get for the next two-and-a-half months.

So for all of you who asked if you could come stowed away in my suitcases and I laughed as if I hadn't heard that before ever from anyone and responded with something like, "haha, that's funny Ted, I'll let you know..."

The answer is no.

Because then I wouldn't have room for my steel-toed boots.

...yep.

Since I spend most of my days in 6 inch heels in a work place where the majority of people wear tennis shoes, you can imagine how horrifying the steel-toed boot shopping experience was for me.  Let me tell you, there is a market out there for ladies' decent looking work boots. 

After much online shopping and a failed attempt at purchasing one pair not quite as bad as all the rest (out of stock), it took two cowboys and a full hour to sell me one pair of ugly boots. 

This was, of course, after much scoffing when I inquired about the possibility of adding the steel toe element to a pair of  cowboy boots that I already own.

Me: Can't you just put a steel toe in my Old Gringos?

Cowboy 1:  Lady! Did you even hear what you just asked me?!

Me: ...sooo...yes, then? That means yes?

It meant no.

Cowboy 2 had a better approach.

Cowboy 2: Ma'am, are you telling me you're gonna be wearing these boots in Italy?

Me: Yes.

Cowboy 2: Around Italians?

Me: Well, Italians and Americans, yes.

Cowboy 2: With all due respect, ma'am, no one's gonna be lookin' at your feet.

SOLD!