I knew this day would come.

It finally showed its ugly face.

The Sunday morning when I was just too lazy to get all dolled up to step outside for 3.2 minutes to let my dog do his business in the cobblestone alley next to my building.

So there I am, yoga pants and reeboks, this hot mess makeup-less monstrosity, steppin' out amongst the full-length fur clad Italian ladies with their primped hair and high heels click-clacking down the covered marble walkway outside my front door. I'm sure a sign that reads "no dignity" is strapped across my back as I walk my scruffy cowdog to relieve himself, his tail wagging wildly all the while, completely oblivious to our deserved shame.

Good thing I showered and fixed my hair first.

I'm not a monster.